Princes Risborough to Great Missenden

the edge of Monkton Wood , keep walking along the edge of the woods...(it says in the book)


these sheep were running towards me, in the beautiful winter evening sunshine.

I think I want to explore the Chilterns a bit more this year, it's pretty, quiet, deep countryside, a bit eccentric, definitely a world away from London though it's connected with it, some places even by tube. I even like the small Chiltern Railways Marylebone station, it already feels like somewhere with a different pace.

John Cale's smokefree tour

Someone from the Smokefree London yahoo group I've set up, has written an excellent article on John Cale's smokefree European tour and smokefree gigs in general. It really speaks my mind in many ways and it'll be interesting to see whether it will create some further discussion among gig going punters and promoters. The Garage really is a terrible smokehole IMO, and I've been avoiding it for a while. I almost walked out of the excellent Deerhoof show there a little while ago just because of the smoke. For now, well done, John Cale and Gab Starkey!

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,14932-2000092,00.html

The return of Nosmo King

John Cale is about to set out on a smoke-free tour. Gigs in Digs organises fresh-air concerts. Gabrielle Starkey is de-lighted

John Cale is recalling his youth. “Pneumo is a word that rings a bell in Wales. Pneumonoconiosis. Black lung. Because of the mining. In the still calm of a Sunday morning, when people were shuffling to and from chapel, you could hear the wheezing coming down the road, you know, from pneumo. And then these people would be smoking.”
The veteran art rocker is explaining why his European tour to promote his new album blackAcetate will be a smoke-free zone. Apart from growing up among black-lung sufferers, Cale had bronchitis as a child which left him sensitive to cigarette smoke. “If people are smoking my voice disappears. And all the remedies in the world won’t put it back together.”
In the live fast, die young world of rock, Cale’s position is literally a blast of fresh air. When he plays the Garage on Wednesday, North London’s premier rock fleapit will ban smoking for the first time in its 13-year history.
For my part, I’m ecstatic about Cale coming to town. My boyfriend is just as sensitive to smoke since giving up five years ago. It puts the kibosh on nights out down the pub (smoking areas, he says, are “like having a p****** area in the swimming pool”), and means that he’s never seen me perform in my alter-ego mode as a singer-songwriter. Cale’s concert will be the first rock gig we’ll have been to together. Sure, there are bigger, smarter venues that are smoke-free, but they are fully seated affairs, hardly the cramped, sweaty experience of a proper rock gig.
But if non-smokers move in restricted circles, it seems as if we’re in good, and increasing, company. Paul Chi, a Brighton-based music promoter, became so sick of the ever-present haze of fag smoke in bars that he founded Gigs in Digs, where the artist comes and plays in your own home. Its most famous proponents are Nizlopi, that exuberant duo whose JCB Song got to No 1 just before Christmas. “I came up with this whole idea of putting on gigs that had an ethos," says Chi. “And the ethos was low noise, non-smoking, the choice of whether to have alcohol or not, and child-friendly. I got into the whole idea of them being accessible."
So Chi’s concerts are a healthy option for the under-18s, which is another leap forward, because teenagers are continuing to take up smoking at an alarming rate. Kids copy their musical heroes, and if they hang out in smoky bars, then smoking and drinking is what teens will aspire to.
But the image is misleading because only about a fifth of the adult population actually smokes and, according to Chi, the idea that all musicians are slaves to the weed couldn’t be further from the truth.
“I know many musicians who hardly drink and don’t smoke, but they’ll play anywhere because it’s the only way they’ll get any work."
Another, more puritanical, group of anti-smokers also targets the younger generation. The Straight Edge movement, which grew out of the 1980s American hardcore punk scene, encourages teenagers to avoid all types of culturally condoned “poisons”, including alcohol, nicotine and even caffeine. Luckily for Cale’s fans, he is not quite so hardline: “If someone’s in the front row and blowing it in your face, you can say: ‘Look, either you are bad mannered or you’re nuts. I’m trying to work and if you keep doing that it’s going to be a much shorter night than anyone would like’.”
But in Spain, where smoking is almost a national trait, there was one audience that didn’t quite get it. “The first thing I said was: ‘Thank you for not smoking this evening,’ and they were pretty good about it. And then when I went offstage they were going crazy, they wanted an encore so I went out again.
“And in that gap they’d all lit up and when I went back out I was confronted by this wall of blue smoke.” He laughs. "It was amazing, just like this wave coming at me.I couldn’t do the encore."
John Cale’s tour starts on Jan 24 at Manchester Academy (0161-275 2930). www.healthyconcerts.com/artists/gigs_in_digs http://www.ash.org.uk/ http://www.freshaironline.info/

some photos from Chris' birthday drinks

involving a wig. We were drinking mineral water all evening, I was impressed it was actually possible, and I felt pretty good as well. A good evening!

Random voyage of musical discovery pt.1: The Pastels

Our house is full of music, discs, tapes, old vinyl are stacked everywhere and sometimes in inappropriate places, I don't always know how to tap into our vast collection in meaningful or methodical ways, and itunes is filling up (I imported over 500 GBV/Bob Pollard songs over the weekend, and that's nowhere near all of it). Still, I sometimes feel ignorant, especially when it comes to older OR contemporary, more obscure or regional bands or artists that I might have heard about a few times but never actually consciously listened to. I guess that's one of the beautiful things of living in the days of the internet and the availability of music and information about music. There are so many ways to fill the gaps.

So to start somewhere I though of a little game that would more or less lead me from one band or artist to the next without me making too many conscious choices about the direction. I quite like abandoning the moment of a personal decision, or direction, it can strangely liberating and can lead you to places and situations that you wouldn't have found otherwise. Leave the building and walk right, then left, then right, ad infinitum and see where it takes you. Then do it the other way round, first left, then right. If in doubt about something, toss a coin. Start reading the whole library by reading one book and then reading the one next to it, ad infinitum (I seriously did this for a while in the libraries of the University of Constance and Sussex Uni, with mixed, but interesting results) Buy albums by artists who want to be your friends on myspace, if you find them cheap at Oxfam. Oh, wait...

Anyway, talking about..., the Oxfam Music shop in Ealing is a weird occasional treasure trove. Now the word seems to be out, but you can still get interesting things at reasonable prizes there. And contribute your money to charity. There must be some local music journalists... My main catch there has been finding the first Wrens album ' Silver' for £2.99, which is seriously sold out and allegedly would be a really hot item on ebay. (You can just about hear the band that made 'The Meadowlands' lurking in there somewhere, but it mainly sounds like a Pixies inspired noisy weird pop band with short, sharp songs) So shopping in there quite often throws random musical goodies my way, often from a few years back, but sometimes brand new or even promos.

I found The Pastels compilation 'Truckload of Trouble' in there the other day. So it got me thinking, that I don't know near enough about Scottish bands of the early 90s, and that there might be so much out there I could tap into if I would follow on by association. So I want to start a chain of records in my collection, starting with this one, mainly by looking on amazon's helpful links to other artists people that have bought this album have also bought, and lead on from there. And/or if amazon doesn't work I want to find inspiration in other weblinks that come from the previous band or artist. It should be bands or artist that I have not got any albums by, and there should be some good reviews, or something that recommends them. Just see where it will go and what I will discover. I want to research and write a bit about each record too. This should happen at least once a month, to keep it flowing. The Vaselines are next.

Anyway: The Pastels. 'Truckload of Trouble'. Great title. I like some of the
songs, but I'm thinking I might need to get some of their later albums to get a bigger picture. This one is a compilation of singles and unreleased tracks, and the quality is a bit varied. The overall feel of the songs is a bit impenetrable at first, woozy, lazy-sounding, occasionally pouting and introspective and, I guess, insular pop with very flat vocal delivery, with the occasional guitar pop gem, or a more urgent groove, to wake you up. It's all quite charming after a few listens though, and even the flat vocal delivery of Stephen Pastel, that's been criticised by various people, starts to make sense. They seem to live and mope about in a sonic space of their own, and I can (vaguely) see why they were so influential, even though there's a sleepiness here that doesn't always connect with the here and now. I'm not sure all of this needs to be remembered. But I'll go back to this one, I'm sure... Thanks for listening.

Daytrip to Oxford

Oxford Round Walk from The Time Out Book of Country Walks. All of these walks are highly recommended, even though I haven't done them all yet :-)

This was a couple days after Boxing Day and Day two of Simon and Thomas's month long trip
'On The Wagon'















The riverwalk, beloved of many local poets past and present...





















rocking the ruins of an old nunnery by the river

















sunset over train wagons by the canal


















finally arriving in the blurry evening lanes of Oxford

2006

Dennis Cooper asked on his blog what his blogs readers' artistic New Year's resolutions were: http://denniscooper.blogspot.com/2006/01/resolution.html So I thought about this for a while and decided to write some down myself. This is going to be a bit longer, as I want to really write down everything that is important to me, and also spend some time about the backstory, and it will roughly be in three parts. It would be easy to say I'd be happy to just have another year like the last one, cause in some ways it wasn't such a bad year. But I've come to the conclusion that I might want to build on some stuff that has happened and brought me where I am right now and become more focussed, and writing this down might help me to be to be a bit clearer about what i would like to achieve, and be realistic about it too. In some ways I feel it's somewhat successful to hold down a job and pursue artistic or other interests in your spare time, therefore acquiring the luxury of not having to worry too much about marketing your art and effectively selling it to make a living. However, working and living in London devours such a large chunk of time and energy I'm not always in the right mindset to really be where I want to be. I've also retreated more and more into a more passive mindset that likes to consume, listen, read, and maybe reshuffle, and rearrange, but not necessarily put out anything. There's nothing wrong with it, of course, but I think maybe it's time to make a more concerted effort to build on what's already there. It's all possible.

Firstly, my band Plus has had a good year in some ways, nothing major happened, we didn't even do that much but we played a few good shows that I was happy about, especially the last one definitely had something, got under people's skins (fortunately it was filmed as well), and we recorded some new material, which is pretty strong, and to me marks an improvement to the previous record. Our first album, 'In the Safety Community', recorded in early 2003, has its full-on, weird moments, and collects a lot of our older material, but somewhat lacks focus, especially in some of the singing (which is entirely my fault!). I feel this new one, 'Hairy', benefitted from the past experiences. I made myself write lyrics for every single song, and, in one case, used some Pynchon lyrics from 'Gravity's Rainbow' (!), blended with my own. As a result, it hangs together better, and we are taking a step forward and moving on. It's still not perfect, and still sounds like a demo, but there are a few tracks on there, especially 'Teenager', 'Tired Eyes', 'Ephedrine Daddy' and 'Seeing Time' that I wouldn't have a huge problem sharing, even with complete strangers, in fact the whole thing is more how I want this to sound like. We still haven't worked out what exactly we're going to do with it, but the CDR I've started circulating has had some good response, which confirms how I feel.

We are terminally slow, it takes us weeks and months even to arrange a rehearsal, but I always felt that this was one of the key reasons why we're still doing it, at our own speed, in our own chemistry, and it's a fun ride when we do it. However it would maybe be an idea to stay focussed and try not to lose the momentum, which has happened before, firstly by writing more material and possibly recording it (Chris records a lot at home these days anyway, and it actually sounds really good), playing a few more shows, and promoting the material we've got, not in aggressive/naive kind of way, but having the confidence to put the word out. Something, something small might happen. We are really good when it comes to it, it's just not so easy to present ourselves as we really are, which is something that usually comes out after a couple of hours of rehearsing on our own, when things really kick in. However we're really letting rip on stage these days, it's taken a while, but we are getting better at playing live.

Secondly: my writing. I recently thought that it has gone stagnant to the point of no return. It's partly that I don't want to sit in front of a computer outside of work, and there's too many distractions to really focus on it, so there's too many long breaks. Plus it still seems to go nowhere. Over the last I don't know how many years, I've written three long pieces, 'novels', whatever you want to call them. They are kind of similar in tone, long stream-of-consciousness pieces, that have a vague, vaguely trippy theme, and then go on a long ride with it. Though the passages hang together, there's a lot that is, frankly, incoherent and virtually unreadable, and basically succumbs eventually to some sort of weird mindspin drifting further down into some abyss, mental meltdown. Sometimes I read a few passages later and it blows me away, and even while I write them I get lost in them. It's written as if under self hypnosis, sentences follow each other, and I often don't know where it's really going. It often involves several subjects interacting in some neverending conversation. All of them are unreal in some ways, vampires or ghostly presences. It certainly could do with *some* editing, though I've often found out by looking at them that the sentences are just right the way I first wrote them, even if they sound weird at first, there's a certain gravity there I don't want to disturb afterwards. Needless to say, they are not be published in any way, I certainly don't intend to even give them to anyone, well, okay, a couple of people saw bits and pieces. But there isn't much point, they are weird exercises, and though some of this material blows my mind when I read it, it's no....no...

Okay, the first one is called 'The Colour Ward' and probably plays inside some sort of mental institution, where colours take the place of drugs and become psychoactive substances. There's nurses, doctors, corridors, closed rooms etc. 'Do you want to buy some colour' 'you want to get more colour into your life'. God, I need to read it again to remember what's going on in there. It took ages to write but isn't even that long...

The second one is called 'Yes Wave' and probably deals with me moving into London, the big city and all the additional pressures. It's kind of an exploration into the sinister aspects of positivity, the relentless upbeat tone, the more commercial environment, the saturation of messages, the tube, the property market, the different, relentless pace etc. I guess 'Yes Wave' shares with my band Plus the idea of transforming positivity into something that is really dark, negative, or at least unknown. Saying yes will get you in touch with what you negate.

The last one is called 'The whip' and I guess deals with sadomasochism, among other things. It's got some really vivid imagery, like blurry polaroids of war zones, corridors again, secret rooms, masters and slaves, and a lot more sex basically. I made myself arrange it in 5 equally long chapters. So it's been finished not too long ago, well, as good as finished anyway as it's going to get, having the exact length prescribed in advance. I feel empty now. This whole idea of writing longer pieces has been to try to see whether i can actually do this, i used to write only shorter pieces. But I'm not sure how successful it's been.

For future reference, all these are safely stored on our laptop, and on various labelled diskettes lying around, one in a bag of old paintings at my parents house. The Whip is called hotdog.doc for some reason...Before those I wrote several shorter pieces, starting with a cycle of shorter and very short pieces called 'Vampire Stories' (and before that I wrote in German). One of those, the one I thought was really good at the time, is here: http://www.suspectthoughts.com/lake.htm . It's not really that representative of how I write today (it's more than ten years old) but maybe illustrates the strengths and weaknesses to some extent.

Okay, to move on, I'd like to find a way of writing that puts me more in control of where it's going, is maybe a little less instinct and more direction. Something that I feel comfortable sharing with others. Something that is more memorable, even to me. But also something that retains the good qualities I see in the writing, using the experiences I've accumulated on these weird writing experiments I've occasionally engaged in for years. I think it's possible, but it would require some discipline. But I'd be happy if I had one, two, three pieces I'd be really happy about at the end of the year. I think it's possible, but I've got to make it possible. I think it needs to happen. We'll see...

Finally, blogging has been fun and weirdly liberating. I see this blog essentially as my online scrapbook, it's an online space for me to do whatever I want to do with it, post photos, writing exercises, music reviews, anything that happens. I feel the message boards I tend to spend time on don't always give me the breathing space to express stuff I just want to put out, there's always someone who disagrees, or talks too loud, or in a tone I can't connect with. So I'm quite into blogging and I want to continue doing so, keep this growing. It's a good writing exercise, at least. And it's a way of putting things out there that is easy and low-key but can still potentially reach people.

Happy new year! I'm glad I got all this off my chest.

2005

So here's a few records I liked this year. I think this is one of the first times I've sat down and thought about this and it's been fun and made me go back and listen again to some records that I thought were really strong. So here it is with thoughts, comments, stories and observations:

1. The New Pornographers: Twin Cinema

It soundtracked our holidays, which, let's face it, is always a good thing to happen, and just ruled. The first times I've heard both 'Electric Version' and 'Twin Cinema' (I haven't even got the first one yet!) it felt like being hit over the head with a neverending wave of tasty relentless pop hooks but the more you listen all the different tones and subtle shifts in mood come out too. They finally came to play in London for the first time and I managed to see them twice in a week, the second time mainly because our friend Martin came all the way from Switzerland to see them. The 93 Ft East show had the edge because it's a better, airier venue than the Borderline, but both shows were really euphoric, short, intense trips into some alternative pop nirvana, almost as good as GBV shows IMO... Oh yeah, and I do like that 'Letter from an Occupant' song, they ended their set with it both nights, I do need to get 'Mass Romantic', oh yes!

2. Deerhoof - The Runners Four

We're really big fans of the 'hoof, Simon even more so than me, and the last couple of albums, 'Apple O' and 'Milk Man' were both immediate hits in our house. This one took a while to sink in and digest, it's quite a bit longer than past efforts, sounds a bit different, features some low key singing from some of the Deerhoof blokes, and is even more varied in mood, textures, though there's still some fantastic bubblegum noise on there too. When we saw them supporting the Melvins earlier this year and at the Garage a little later the set had changed almost completely to showcase newer material so it didn't quite reach the dizzy heights of the year before, but still, they're unique, and i'm glad they're moving on in their own inimitable way. Satomi did some amazing hand movements to the new songs, and seems quite authorative these days.

3. Guided by Voices - Suitcase 2: American Superdream Wow

Everytime I listen to one of the eight discs from either one of the mammoth Suitcase boxsets, which collect previously unreleased Pollard material from way back til the present, I feel like drifting though a zone where familiar riffs, songs and phrases ride past my mental horizon like weird, hard-to-place memories or random images out of a dream. Time zones are mixed up and weird, almost unlistenable-at-first snippets slowly find their way into your head, after five or so listens everything gets weirdly familiar. This might also be due to the fact that quite a bit of this has been circulated already, notably on that great '30 songs' secret compilation. So I'm bad with song titles here, and identifying and listing songs, but keep having this sensation of 'I love this one' at the same time. And what really works as well this time is the cover art, all imaginary record covers and promotional pictures, lovingly and knowingly put together by rock librarian, Dayton resident and international pop wizard Robert Pollard.

It's been said that 2005 has been a good year for Bob and (the legacy of) Guided By Voices, even though he finished the band at the end of the previous year. For me, the Electrifying Conclusion really was an end and a conclusion, and for the first time in ages I haven't bought all the goodies that came out this year. I'm happy for Bob though and I hope his new album 'From a Compound Eye' gets the reception it deserves, as it's spectacular, even by his standards, but I can't help feeling a bit sad to hear he isn't likely to come back to this side of the pond this year yet again. Hey Bob, please don't forget us over here! What's that noise I hear?

4. The Mountain Goats: The Sunset Tree

It took me a while to even find out about the existence of this record. I was watching 120 minutes, and the video for 'This Year' came on, John Darnielle dressed in teenage clothes playing with a band at a teenage house party with fake blood running down his head and a mad stare in his face singing 'I'm gonna make it through this year, if it kills me'. This record is about his abusive stepfather and presumably a lot of awkward, painful memories. The impeccable, understated arrangements serve to enhance the powerful, lucid imagery, the driving sentences. It's unlike anything I've ever heard, very powerful, and there's definitely some hope and redemption there too.

5. Coil: And the ambulance died in his arms

It's their performance at the Autechre-curated ATP in 2003, posthumously released. We were at that show and it's remarkable how much of the weird atmosphere of that show is captured here. Presumably it was chosen because the last track features a lengthy chant that goes 'somnambulist in an ambulance' over and over. It gave me the chills at the actual show but to hear it now, in the contect of Jhonn Balance's death, it's just... well... very strange. RIP

6. Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow

This beautiful man makes me smile. When we saw him and his merry minstrels at the Dour festival we were surrounded by a mass of cute stoned half naked Belgian hippies, it was a beautiful sunny afternoon and Devendra really connected with all this with a wink and a gentle smile. "There are so many / little boys I want to marry", WTF?

7. Rogue Wave: Descended Like Vultures

"You can never publish my love....you can never publish my love...."

8. Of Arrowe Hill: Hexadelica and The Speed of Darkness

The Circus Devils didn't release an album on Halloween, so it was done by OAH. This is an album about the year 1969, and only 69 copies of both vinyl and CD were released and have now souled out. It blends in well with their marvellous first album 'The Springhell Penny Dreadful', intricate 60s inspired music with a dark twist. I first saw them when they supported GBV at their legendary, heavily bootlegged show at the Garage in 2001, and saw them quite a few times around that time, mostly in a supporting role, do their short, twenty minute sets that left people wanting more. It wasn't until I heard 'Penny Dreadful' that I really understood what they were trying to do. It's really spooky music, and songs like 'Grandmother's Steps' showed a more gentle side, influenced by both early Pink Floyd and GBV, but with a distinctive sound and lyrical imagery. Adam is the only one left now, but it's still as good as ever if not better. Her Majesty's 23. Psychedelic Battalion is marching on...

OAH on myspace: www.myspace.com/ofarrowehill

9. Boards of Canada: The Campfire Headspace

I looked at Headspace's cover with all the washed out images of faces and landscapes and suddenly some of them seemed to come alive, to step out from that weird imagined collective past they seem to represent, and the ageing process that has corroded the images seems to have been overturned by something pretty spooky. And so with the music. I'm sure in a year's time everything will become clearer. But really, this year has seen me getting more into this mysterious band. Maybe it was the collective anticipation in the air, but 'Geogaddi' was a constant friend, more than the others, I don't even find it as scary or apocalyptic as some, though I kinda like the fact people have all these theories. And this album didn't disappoint...

Also, is this about adolescence rather than childhood now, so there's a linear progression from album to album? I don't really want to know...

10. Why? : Elephant Eyelash

I guess one could think that this comes along as some experimental hiphop, but really this sits right next to early Pavement circa 'Crooked Rain' with its playful, leftfield pop, wayward lyrics and its goofy cover collages. It's a really wonderful record, and it has its tender moments too.

Watching Music Television I

hyperdrawing
filigrane world
gay hustler
visors
dancing aliens
van lights
cowboys microphone empty room
dance routines repetition grey shirts laughter ass clapping
too pronounced
fires circling lights flying apples
the end
curtains haircuts food talking potatoes antlers
dirty grades
tie
spitting blood
stifling food adult
what is it trying to say?
t-shirt slogans
spilt milk
desired fool silhouette identity
masked surfer
walking through screens
holding the planet
green naked
watercooler in a t-shirt disco ball
dark machine
moves on a meadow
city silhouettes fake car
running though the woods
in a cross framed in four screens
autumnal scene
scratching stark tree trunks
guitars a cross victorian clothes
snow seaside forces check lips
brick wall
camouflaged hills
screaming teeth frazzled hair moral panic
tactical error
it's growing in your direction
cycling in space
spikes rhythms egghead
racing through black and white streets
beaches, lights and edges
drifting off on a motorway
autobahn
first rays of the sun
bridges into pleasant fiels
three screens of green lines
car noises blend into harmony
ideal transparent cars
nuclear families
four lanes green hills
four lights over egg heads
middle lane
distorted numbers lead
fitness session
numbers salad
fightin in a marble hallway
swords driving rhythm crashing though barriers
lucid dreaming
shades
mountains corridors doors
fake shootings white dreadlocks car speeds off
driving rhythm
worked out
flying over mountain ranges
speeding
swerving under fire
peaceful meeting
car chase
suggestive colour
fog
follow the sirens
faces distorted swapped
cars overturning
marked side doors
releasing tension stamping on the hood
smashing pieces in all directions
standing on the hood
ghosts consider a free ride
aggravation
unreal identities come to life
landing with both feet
beating against the side
shooting entities
particles
fire
speeding fire
keys collection
black biker gloves
backwards and forwards
fog spinning
walls unreal walls
speeding police cars
against the data stream
succeeding
fire

x-mas in walthamstow

two walks on Epping forest (in both directions), Little Britain Series 1 & 2, Little Britain Fridge magnets, Maltesers, the Great Dalmuti, Harry Potter, MTV2s Greatest Songs of 2005, presents, presents, presents, turkey, roast potatoes, parsnips, peas, vegetarian gravy, Gaia online x-mas carols, Simon playing the piano, two days and one long night!

np weezer unreleased sh!t

Daytrip to Brighton

once a month, a daytrip to the old hunting grounds of Brighton is not too much, no? We saw Michelle on the seafront, walked along the cold Kemptown beach, saw Alis band http://hamiltonyarns.co.uk at the Albert, had a great meal at http://terreaterre.co.uk, one of our favourite restaurants ever, and a few too many real ales and porters at the fab Evening Star pub near the station.

Date w/Ikea

buying furniture in Neeeeeeeasden

np Fall Heads Roll

All together now:

"I am quail and quasar
I pick you up on radar
I do my job each day
empties crushed and fired away

But there is nothing worse than
an undetermined person
Can I abuse please
in my subspace biographies?

Da-Da-Da- Da-Da-Da Da-Da-Da DAAAA-DAAAAA"

Just heard that 'Subspace Biographies' could be about the Dennis Cooper novel 'Guide' or inspired by it, at least that is what Pollard allegedly said to someone at Matador. Timewise it's possible, and at least the last two lines quoted above would probably fit. Mr Pollard finds inspiration in all sorts of stuff around him though, and often two or three unrelated things inspire something new, and it's often not so tangible and open to the listener. Well, I've sung along to that song many times, it's one of the very best IMO, so to have this extra layer of meaning is pretty cool. I wasn't even aware that Pollard had read the book, though his music and lyrics feature in it..


(Note:
I bought my first GBV album ("Under the Bushes Under the Stars") shortly after reading 'Guide', and the rest is history... I thought it sounded alright at first, a bit hazy, as if from far away, I liked 'the Official Ironmen Rally Song' on the first listen. Two weeks or so later I played it and realized that a lot of the songs had found their way into my head in a way that was very striking. I soon got obsessed with GBV and started buying their entire catalogue as well as most of the side projects, joined the notorious 'postal blowfish' GBV email fan club (or whatever) and later the equally notorious Disarm The Settlers board (DTS) , met A LOT of great people, got introduced to all sorts of music through the amazing music tastes of fellow fans and went to see a lot of GBV shows in the UK, Europe and the States, some of which were the most euphoric, out-there concert experiences i've ever been lucky enough to witness (and I've seen a lot). It's changed my life, at least a little bit. I was already in my early thirties when i first heard this and maybe a little jaded about music and it made me realize what music can really do. It's really opened my eyes in many ways. I'm maybe a little less enthusiastic these days and I don't love everything equally that comes my way from Dayton, but every once in a while, about once every week I'm still listening to a bootleg or an album and really get into it. )

...

my little nephew

Blair gives up fight over smoking ban

http://http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/12/22/nsmoke22.xml&sSheet=/portal/2005/12/22/ixportal.html

yo!


maybe we'll get a complete ban on smoking after all. I'm so fed up with it, too many x-mas drinks in smokefilled places that otherwise have been really good fun, really brought it home to me this week that this needs to happen here. Or i need to move to New York, Dublin, Italy or, errm, Wales. the Must Destroy x-mas party at the Windmill was especially good, the mighty Sludgefeast and super-group Ghouls Aloud (featuring IAn, members of Sludgefeast and Do Me Bad Things in Halloween costumes playing Misfits covers) headlining a great rock'nroll party with a ton of great people in the house. unfortunately far too smokey for me too, even with frequent visits to the weird eerie Brixton council street outside of the venue...

np Olivia Tremor Control

Your Hazy Fist

Take the tablet and slip down the lane
for time has given you a place to rest.
you run inside the channel to find a better view
but what was now has sunk beneath the table.
You clear the screen but I can't see
what you've raised in front of my eyes,
the gesture seems alien,
and this violence will never hit me just the way you thought.

I could never describe what hit me
just the way it approached and slapped me hard.
When the alarm goes off
you proceed without protection,
the screen's gone blank and the afterlife
smiled down, but still
there's only so much I want to do
before I stop to shake.

Cold table cracks in front of you,
a wedding march divided into fractions,
gossiping about the aftermath
of actions long since remembered useless.
I want to hold you there
but you disappeared inside the fog
so I slip from the ledge
remembering your arms

come on

honey instruments delay the path when I strike closer
for other prizes to be won one day and little wonders to achieve
to spit a little and forget my treason
the spit hangs dirty in the air but it leads further
than you ever thought
a promised land for you
so come on

coughing tricks for architects of misery to inspect
all the degrees of hate
swirling in your violent steam room
to build and protect
another bridge across this slimy divide
to decide a certain passage
through the night
so come on

When I break the bread and feel it sighing
on the other side as you open your mouth
the thought arrives
that this has all been here before all the way back
to the dark old ages
but I try again to make it sound fresh
when the bite reverberates inside your head
amplified for all to see
the show must go on
so come on

Where the bodies lead you a silent cross appears
i saw it before on your back
Why did i lean on it though the barren days?
Why did it matter to me when you spoke of it
in incessant wonder?
Does it lead you out of the circle?
Will we go further today?
Did the shepherd give you his commands
to follow the herd
and the laughing dogs today?
Is this where we're headed?
then just say the word
and we're off
so come on

I'm sitting on a chair
looking out of the window
my loss is before me
traded into hills
and slowly moving rivers going nowhere
but just where you started
this fieldtrip
for me
I felt treason raging against me
in my head
Will I resist it and see you again?
Will it come closer?
If it's worth trying
then come on

My ship is sailing away
through the violent sounds
as night awakes from its dirty old dreams
I rage and toss and turn
just to escape a certain wish
my tools are scattered all over the garden
leading outside for all to see
I did it
and I'll do it again
so come on

The smoking ban

is being debated today

It looks like the government is going back to a partial ban on smoking (BOOOO!), meaning bars and clubs that don't serve food will be exempted. While I realize that things will be a lot better than they are and there will be a lot more smokefree places, i can't help wondering:

1) 'Concert halls' are supposed to be completely smokefree. What is a concert hall? Does that include live rock venues? At least bigger venues, say, Brixton Academy, are definitely halls where concerts take place, however the wording worries me. An extensive websearch so far has not brought clarification. Okay, I love going to gigs but I find that a good live show has nothing to do with cigarettes and in my case it often spoils my evening. A lot of venues are extremely smoky as they're packed and people seem to think it's okay to smoke in spaces like these. The air is really thick with smoke wafting through the air once the headlining act does its thing. Trying to avoid smokers at gigs makes enjoying gigs quite difficult for me these days. It's been a nightmare for me for years, and a weekly dilemma, as I tell my music loving friends I'm not into going to see Melt Banana (for instance) at the Garage, not because I wouldn't want to see Melt Banana, but simply because I hate the Garage, and I hate the Garage simply because I hate the fact it's too fucking smokey in there for me. I'm too old for this shit! I make exceptions once or twice a week and often regret it. There are a few smokefree places in London now for live music, and some places have okay ventilation, but the majority of the venues are really bad. Even a partial ban in live venues, say just an area where no smoking would be permitted in a large space like Brixton (right now even on the balcony people smoke like no tomorrow), or halls that are smokefree but allow smoking in a separate bar area would be better. Again, for me live music and a good rock'n'roll show has nothing to do with cigarette smoke.

2. Gay bars and clubs don't usually serve food, do they? Hmmm. They are usually no - go areas for me these days. Gay guys smoke far too much!

3. Why stop with food? Sure, if you sit down at a restaurant and someone lights up next to you it's difficult to just change tables, but apart from that i never understood why the presence of food should go less with smoke than just a drink.

Oh well, at least something is happening. I'm looking forward to it, and in the meantime keep watching the changing landscape here in London, where more and more smokefree places exist already.

rant over!

The Faint at the Dour Festival

Dour is a great festival in the Belgian countryside. The Faint only played for about ten minutes, they were really late to start with and there were major problems with the sound, so they argued with people at the side of the stage for about half of their short set. It was a really hot day and the tent was packed with people who wanted to see them. Still, the 4 songs or so they managed to play sounded fantastic. Fuck soundchecks!!

np Kingdom Without

Bright Eyes at the Dour festival

A *very drunk* show but a good show, featuring members of The Faint...it was intense in the front!

np 50 Year Old Baby

raise a glass to Dil!

We received a very sad text message today from Chris:
'Raise a glass to dill tonight november 1990 - november 18th 2005. God rest his hairy soul'

He was a great dog, we've known him for years, he was always around Chris. When I was a kid I was very afraid of dogs and it was knowing Dil (in my head i always spelled his name like this!) and other dogs, but Dil particularly, that made me appreciate and love dogs. I managed to find some photos taken in the last few years when he was already getting a little bit tired and grumpy. God rest his hairy soul indeed!

np robert pollard - from a compound eye

ugh got a cold

it's finally upon me, Simon and various other people had it all week, went out to a pub for the first time in a while, and the incessant smoking that went on in there probably did its bit to kick me over the edge, i could feel the cold coming on, congestion, coughing, feeling queasy. the day started alright with the sunlight streaming into the front room, reading and playing some music, rearranging the plants. The rest of the flat is pretty cold right now, difficult to heat properly since it's large and a bit too open plan. most of it is also a bit too dark for the plants, so they are all huddled in the front room by the window. Fortunately it was a very sunny day and it felt quite warm in there for a while. Having a sick day is sometimes a blessing in disguise for me so i can hang out, do nothing and recharge, though this cold winter weather is getting to me right now.

Plus in action

...hiding behind the micstand as usual while the psychedelic orange lights swirl and weave their patterns, hardly anything to see here really, it's all in the sound!!! this is from a gig at the pleasure unit last year. we've played there four times now, it's a small venue run by some friendly people with a bit of an edgier East End vibe. the soundguy is wonderful, he knows he's invited to fuck around with the sound with us, last time we didn't even do a soundcheck, just told him to fuck it up a bit, so he added all sorts of reverb, wish he could add some tape loops a la Mission of Burma ;-)

that evening we played with Amy Blue, two nerdy guys with all sorts of equipment who made a strange, vaguely MBV-sounding, electronic pop soup. it was their first ever gig and their soundcheck was the funniest thing, they were driving everyone nuts. however they ended up sounding really great, and i would love to know what they're doing at the moment. i love being friendly with other bands we play with. at the pleasure unit they usually have a more or less random combination of four or five bands playing in one evening so when you come in before the show the whole room is full of equipment and nervous looking guys in black leather jackets, it's a beautiful chaos.

codula di luna

oh maan!

np boards of canada _the campfire headphase_ really loud!

By the Orientale Sarde,

an amazing panoramic route, on the way to the Codula di Luna, a steep isolated gorge that runs through miles of bizarre rocky scenery all the way to the Calle di Luna, a very famous beach that you can only reach on foor or by boat... (getting carried away here... keep running)

Simon hiking

i wish he would do a bit more of this ;-)) (though we did a lot of hiking on our trip to sardinia)

this is on our walk around the Monte Rasu, near the oldest Franciscan monastery on the island, which we could only catch a glimpse of since it was private property. It's nicely situated though on an isolated woody hill, the medieval castle of Burgos looming somewhere below in the mist. i saw an old man picking mushrooms underneath the big old trees...

hot white trash in sardinia

in a big motel style hotel on the edge of Macomer, a dusty sleepy town and, uh, transport hub, in Sardinia, during the mad roadtrip part of our holiday. we were hiking in the Goceano area, a gorgeous but slightly weird mountainous old area inland, and decided to stay around there only to find there were no hotels around (well apart from the weird one we had stayed in the night before :-)and we had to drive for miles to this nowhere town just to find a bed. it was kinda fun in the end...


(np guided by voices, irving plaza, nyc 15.06.96, disc 2 'don't stop now'

what keeps big daddy happy what makes the buzzard buzz??)

my band Plus

is playing a show tomorrow night. We're on a bill with my friend Trev's band Lunar Jet Man and we'll be playing mostly new material from our newly recorded album 'Hairy' (well, i think this is what it's going to be called - together with a hairy cover, front and back, we already have some willing subjects). It sounds dark, messy and playful as usual, but this time there's more lyrics (which I'm trying to remember right now) and the whole thing has a pleasingly off-kilter slightly Cure-ish vibe that works reasonably well overall. The last song 'Teenager' is the best thing we've ever done i think, it sounds like a description/transcript of a nightmare and it drives right into full on Lost Highway mode. It was good before but now it rules, well, in my book anyway. The rest hangs together fairly well too. It's even got some Thomas Pynchon lyrics, straight from Gravity's Rainbow. The way Plus works, we're a threepiece, Chris plays guitars and comes up with guitar themes, then John, the drummer and drum machine operator, and me, the warbler and voicemaker, try to make something with it. A lot of is improvised, with interesting textures, moods and melodies. We never play a song exactly the same way, so it's kinda interesting in which way it goes, especially live. Some songs work live unexpectedly while others have been known to fall on their faces. It's not about perfection or even coherence. It's been a lot of fun for the last 7, almost 8 years, we've got this weird chemistry and just keep doing it. When it falls together it's totally intense and I love it. Well, that's just about it for now.



Pleasure Unit, Bethnal Green, Tuesday, tomorrow, 22.40 <<<<

tired eyes

false alarm - sensation overload - i bet you're deep enough
to focus on the false alarm - sensation overload

all hail the night where things go undercover and belong
feelings go astray but you see
the dying fell inside their little holes
all the way, i tried it all the way

dark side up is tearing me apart to start the world like this
i felt inside the pockets nothing there tell me where oh where
did all this go to turn around and screech and smash the glass the night forgets it is a little shell all the dark it feels it's breaking up

tapped along the shoulderblade and give me gas the prize is right to go
all the way i feel it all the way
the barren streets know no concern
and treat you right if you know all their worth
all the way she turned it all the way

turned inside me
oh oh oh
what's inside me
oh oh oh
i want to see it now
but but but

grey dawn

have i seen you before at the door?
have i fled you before?
is it really a new day
or another long chore?

do i catch you forever
or between my own eyes
leave alone when you fled me
keeping random and try

turn around in the slipstream
feel the way to your heart
does it give out new pleasures
does it tear you apart?

take away all my mountains
all my hills and my fields
take away all the mornings
and ring out with the tide

does it suit you to feel me
when the water recedes
grey dawn waits at the table
and is ready to feed

take away all my warnings
little stupid hoorays
take away all my sinking
until the last one is spared

little cries in the darkness
turned away in your dawn
let the ocean adore you
turn around in your....

send around in the tidings
a broken litter doll cracked
turned away for your safety
until the lifeboat arrives

...

(hi camilla)

(well this could work if the words are really slurred, and maybe some echoes in it

I like the drift anyway)

winter commute

set alone in the snow stone
burnt alive through the years
turned around with a road sign
left to sing your own praise

words strike out and cover meaning
tears run dry run out of season
relieve the pressures left at home
endless roadside work follows you into the night

left alone in a bad cage
turned around with a song you remember
keep your eyes on the roadsigns
just in case you belong to

the track that leaves you falling further
isolated leaves run dry around
a deep cold memory that's found itself attached
to nice cold lakes inside your mind
but stare ahead when i beliee you're lying
turn around to stop the car and get out
to find the world has seen you out the back door
burn alive and shiver where you saw it
bubblegum and lights and no tomrrow
turning back has never been so far away

(ferocious guitar work courtesy of Chris Bryan)

left alone in the tower
have you seen your own eyes
steering clear of the weather
left alone to decide

etc

(can't you see i'm trying to write lyrics here? this song's got a nice sonic youth kinda guitar theme and vibe. i guess it could work like this. we'll see. recording in a couple of weeks...)

teenager

as views collide
a shaking house appears
a face
you stare ahead and stare to nothing
a picture's gone inside your mind, wake up
when trees collide noise wanders through the town
find another leave to bite and boil
as soon as sunset strikes again
we rise
and turn inside the bulging tower
hate erupts and
little figures
describe sensations out of my reach
singing
similar and similar descends
similar and similar descends
too much too fried, consider
too far to go
stammer now and stammer a sentence
learn another rhymeto sing
for another overcast sky
and another doll to break
in two
and another fine example
of spitting out to stay alive
letting it all go
into a dark space
all consider
your own
beaming light from inside the skull
go home go home
so leaves fall quicker
the house threatens
to fall inside itself
exploding hate, inside the
flooding, body bags,
knives,
simple matters
spiralling
out of control
i kneeled in front of the house
where colours swirl against each other
i strive to see in front of it
a corridor
belongs to me
and sends me lights
guides me to the door
another hall another dancefloor
another river flooding and a
sentence designed for you
in another language
a language that i don't understand
beats the pain and beats the stellar
lust
inside a chimney b-b-b-b-baked for you
hey rain
i'm shocked
consider
a train wreck
slides
away to dust

Notes From Inside New Orleans
by Jordan Flaherty
Friday, September 2, 2005
http://www.leftturn.org/
I just left New Orleans a couple hours ago. I traveled from the
apartment I was staying in by boat to a helicopter to a refugee camp. If anyone wants to examine the attitude of federal and state officials towards the victims of hurricane Katrina, I advise you to visit one of the refugee camps.

In the refugee camp I just left, on the I-10 freeway near Causeway,
thousands of people (at least 90% black and poor) stood and squatted in mud and trash behind metal barricades, under an unforgiving sun, with heavily armed soldiers standing guard over them. When a bus would come through, it would stop at a random spot, state police would open a gap in one of the barricades, and people would rush for the bus, with no information given about where the bus was going. Once inside (we
were told) evacuees would be told where the bus was taking them - Baton Rouge, Houston, Arkansas, Dallas, or other locations. I was told that if you boarded a
bus bound for Arkansas (for example), even people with family and a place to stay in Baton Rouge would not be allowed to get out of the bus as it passed through Baton Rouge. You had no choice but to go to the shelter in Arkansas. If you had people willing to come to New Orleans to pick you up, they could not come within 17 miles of the camp.

I traveled throughout the camp and spoke to Red Cross workers, Salvation Army Workers, National Guard, and state police, and although they were friendly, no one could give me any details on when buses would arrive, how many, where they would go to, or any other information. I spoke to the several teams of journalists nearby, and asked if any of them had been able to get any information from any federal or state officials on any of these questions, and all of them, from Australian tv to local Fox affiliates complained of an unorganized, non-communicative, mess.
One cameraman told me "as someone who's been here in this camp for two days, the only information I can give you is this: get out by nightfall. You don't want to be here at night."

There was also no visible attempt by any of those running the camp to set up any sort of transparent and consistent system, for instance a line to get on buses, a way to register contact information or find family members, special needs services for children and infirm, phone services, treatment for possible disease exposure, nor even a single trash can.

To understand the dimensions of this tragedy, its important to look at New Orleans itself.

For those who have not lived in New Orleans, you have missed a incredible, glorious, vital, city. A place with a culture and energy unlike anywhere else in the world. A
70% African-American city where resistance to white supremacy has supported a generous, subversive and unique culture of vivid beauty. From jazz, blues and hiphop, to secondlines, Mardi Gras, Indians, Parades, Beads, Jazz Funerals, and red beans and rice on Monday nights, New Orleans is a place of art and music and
dance and sexuality and liberation unlike anywhere else in the world.

It is a city of kindness and hospitality, where walking down the block can take two hours because you stop and talk to someone on every porch, and where a community pulls together when someone is in need. It is a city of extended families and social networks filling the gaps left by city, state and federal governments that have abdicated their responsibility for the public welfare. It is a city where someone
you walk past on the street not only asks how you are, they wait for an answer.

It is also a city of exploitation and segregation and fear. The city of New Orleans has a population of just over 500,000 and was expecting 300 murders this year, most of them centered on just a few, overwhelmingly black, neighborhoods. Police have been quoted as saying that they don't need to search out the perpetrators, because usually a few days after a shooting, the attacker is shot in revenge.

There is an atmosphere of intense hostility and distrust between much of Black New Orleans and the N.O. Police Department. In recent months, officers have been accused
of everything from drug running to corruption to theft. In separate incidents, two New Orleans police officers were recently charged with rape (while in uniform), and there have been several high profile police killings of unarmed youth, including the murder of Jenard Thomas, which has inspired ongoing weekly protests for several months.

The city has a 40% illiteracy rate, and over 50% of black ninth graders will not graduate in four years. Louisiana spends on average $4,724 per child's education and ranks 48th in the country for lowest teacher salaries. The equivalent of more than two classrooms of young people drop out of Louisiana schools every day and about 50,000 students are absent from school on any given day. Far too many young black men from New Orleans end up enslaved in Angola Prison, a former slave plantation where inmates still do manual farm labor, and over 90% of inmates eventually die in the prison. It is a city where industry has left, and most remaining jobs are are low-paying, transient, insecure jobs in the service economy.

Race has always been the undercurrent of Louisiana politics. This disaster is one that was constructed out of racism, neglect and incompetence. Hurricane Katrina
was the inevitable spark igniting the gasoline of cruelty and corruption. From the
neighborhoods left most at risk, to the treatment of the refugees to the the media portrayal of the victims, this disaster is shaped by race.

Louisiana politics is famously corrupt, but with the tragedies of this week our political leaders have defined a new level of incompetence. As hurricane Katrina approached, our Governor urged us to "Pray the hurricane down" to a level two. Trapped in a building two days after the hurricane, we tuned our battery-operated radio into local radio and tv stations, hoping for vital news, and were told that our governor had called for a day of prayer. As rumors and panic began to rule, they was no source of solid dependable information. Tuesday night, politicians and
reporters said the water level would rise another 12 feet - instead it stabilized. Rumors spread like wildfire, and the politicians and media only made it worse.

While the rich escaped New Orleans, those with nowhere to go and no way to get there were left behind. Adding salt to the wound, the local and national media have
spent the last week demonizing those left behind. As someone that loves New Orleans and the people in it, this is the part of this tragedy that hurts me the most, and it hurts me deeply.

No sane person should classify someone who takes food from indefinitely closed stores in a desperate, starving city as a "looter," but that's just what the media
did over and over again. Sheriffs and politicians talked of having troops protect stores instead of perform rescue operations.

Images of New Orleans' hurricane-ravaged population were transformed into black, out-of-control, criminals. As if taking a stereo from a store that will clearly be
insured against loss is a greater crime than the governmental neglect and incompetence that did billions of dollars of damage and destroyed a city. This media focus is a tactic, just as the eighties focus on "welfare queens" and "super-predators" obscured the simultaneous and much larger crimes of the Savings and Loan
scams and mass layoffs, the hyper-exploited people of New Orleans are being used as a scapegoat to cover up much larger crimes.

City, state and national politicians are the real criminals here. Since at least the mid-1800s, its been widely known the danger faced by flooding to New Orleans. The flood of 1927, which, like this week's events, was more about politics and racism than any kind of natural disaster, illustrated exactly the danger faced. Yet government officials have consistently refused to spend the money to protect this poor, overwhelmingly black, city. While FEMA and others warned of the urgent impending danger to New Orleans and put forward proposals for funding to
reinforce and protect the city, the Bush administration, in every year since 2001, has cut or refused to fund New Orleans flood control, and ignored scientists warnings of increased hurricanes as a result of global warming. And, as the
dangers rose with the floodlines, the lack of coordinated response dramatized vividly the callous disregard of our elected leaders.

The aftermath from the 1927 flood helped shape the elections of both a
US President and a Governor, and ushered in the southern populist politics of Huey Long.

In the coming months, billions of dollars will likely flood into New
Orleans. This money can either be spent to usher in a "New Deal" for the city, with public investment, creation of stable union jobs, new schools, cultural programs and housing restoration, or the city can be "rebuilt and revitalized" to a
shell of its former self, with newer hotels, more casinos, and with
chain stores and theme parks replacing the former neighborhoods, cultural centers and corner jazz clubs.

Long before Katrina, New Orleans was hit by a hurricane of poverty,
racism, disinvestment, deindustrialization and corruption. Simply the damage from this pre-Katrina hurricane will take billions to repair.

Now that the money is flowing in, and the world's eyes are focused on
Katrina, its vital that progressive-minded people take this opportunity to fight for a rebuilding with justice. New Orleans is a special place, and we need to fight for its rebirth.

-----------------------------------------------

Nagin: Uh, I don’t know. I don’t think so. Uh, but we called for martial law when we realize that the looting was getting out of control. We redirected all of our police officers back to patrolling the streets. They were dirt...dead tired from saving people but they worked all night because we thought this thing was gonna blow wide open last night. And so we redirected all of our resources and we held it under check. I’m not sure if we can do that another night with the current resources. And I am telling you right now, they’re showing all these reports of people looting and doing all that weird stuff and they are doing that, but people are desperate and they’re trying to find food and water. The majority of them. Now, you got some knuckleheads out there and they are taking advantage of this lawless...this situation where we can’t really control it and they are doing some awful, awful things but that’s a small majority of the people. Most people are looking to try and survive. And you’ve gotta, one of the things, nobody's talked about this. Drugs flowed in and out of New Orleans and the surrounding metropolitan area so freely it was scary to me. And that’s why we were having an escalation in murders. People don’t want to talk about this but I’m going to talk about it. You have drug addicts that are now walking around this city looking for a fix. And that’s the reason why they were breaking into hospitals and drug stores. They’re looking for something to take the edge of their jones, if you will. And right now they don’t have anything to take the edge off and they’ve probably found guns. So what you’re seeing is drug starving crazy addicts. Drug addicts that are wreaking havoc and we don’t have the manpower to adequately deal with it. We can only target certain sections of the city and form a perimeter around them and hope to God that we are not overrun.

i'm shocked

there's a lot of harrowing stories coming in from NOLA, and it a lot of it doesn't even get reported on mainstream news medias. i've been getting stuck on this long I Love Everything thread that keeps reporting stories and links to blogs and newssites, it's gripping, harrowing reading and i'm in a state of shock. http://ilx.wh3rd.net/thread.php?msgid=6173265#unread
a whole city is wiped out and the chaos, damage and desperation of the situation is hard to grasp.

I've never been there either, but i know how many literary and musical ghosts are haunting this city, a city like New Orleans is always more than just houses and streets, there's so many stories, songs, mythologies surrounding it, so in many ways it's a mental state too, and a collective memory, an aspiration, whatever. To have such a drastic wipeout of an entire city (and all that it means in terms of lifestyles, heritage, etc.) happening today makes me realize how fragile everything really is these days when it comes to it. And it looks like it's getting worse every hour. and what is going to come next? I'm not that good describing the horror i feel.